Day of Atonement

Today is the holiest day of the Jewish calendar—Yom Kippur, or the Day of Atonement. While you are reading this, I am sitting in temple trying to ignore the growling in my stomach. (One of the rituals for Yom Kippur is fasting.) In honor of the day, it is worthwhile to think about things we might have done better over the past year. Although I am sure that this is sacrilegious in some way, this article is devoted to those things that we could have done better in our financial lives over the past year.

1) Be more patient with clients who are reluctant to do the things that they should. Perhaps it’s a sign that I care a great deal about my clients, but I tend to become a little anxious when they do not proceed with the planning items that are important. This can range from the big stuff, like estate planning and insurance coverage, to smaller issues, like making adjustments to withholding to improve cash flow. I sometimes forget that it often takes people a while to act and that a gentle nudge every now and then is all they need, not a speech.

2) Try not to be exasperated when repeating important concepts. Recently a long-time client told me she was listening to the radio show and finally understood how bonds worked. I said, “Alice, haven’t I gone over that with you in the past?” She said, “Of course, but it just really sunk in for real last Saturday!” Many of the concepts that I talk about with people have never been fully explained to them. Additionally, there is so much shame around not knowing, that people may not even tell you when they do not really get it.

3) Be more patient with prospective clients who are having difficulty deciding what to do. There have been occasions when I am so sure that I can help someone that I can’t understand why they will not proceed. The reason is that wealth management is an extremely emotional issue that weaves some of our biggest fears in with our most glorious hopes. Some people need one meeting to unravel the issues, some need two, and some need a longer time to sit with an idea before coming to a decision.

4) Try not to second-guess every trade. You would think that after twenty plus years doing this, I would know that you just can’t get it right on every decision. Still, I find that in the moment, I can beat myself up for not getting it spot-on. This does not mean that I ignore mistakes, but I have to be a little more forgiving in the process.

5) Be more compassionate. Let’s face it -- these are trying times for everyone. I am sure that there has been more than a few times over the past month, when I may have not been quite as understanding as I could have been with clients who are really scared. It doesn’t matter whether I think that they will be OK—they really need to feel it. In fact, as we move through this time, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if we could all be a little nicer to each other…